Atonement is a hard pill to swallow!
No matter who you are, or what you've done against others; one thing is for sure...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
I am currently in the Rocky Mountains. It was a beautiful sight to see flying in, more magical as I drove to my destination and most likely unbelievable if I happen to make it to the base of one of these monstrous behemoths. I'm not sure which mountain range that the song, "Home, Home on the Range", was referring to; but it could have easily been the Rockies.
I find myself in quite the quandary today. Apologies are tough. Contemplating about making apologies is tough; and the delivery is sometimes earth-shattering. That lump in your throat will eventually be removed in the process, but the process from start to finish seems unbearable at times. So, without doubt, I am in a place with a heavy heart today.
Perhaps the worst part in "atone-ning", is the thought that a valiant effort; no matter how good, will not restore things to what they once were. Can you at some point in the future repay the debt. Can that relationship REALLY be repaired. Why is it, that swallowing your pride and simply saying, "I'm sorry", really that hard?
Mostly, I think it has to do with fear. We can essentially "lay our cards" on the table; for everyone to see, and in the end it matters not. Trust has been lost, trust can not be restored, "game over." There are no more innings to be played, you will not pass "GO" and collect $200 and there is NO "Get out of Jail Free Card." Damage that you hoped would be repairable, is just not so.
The Bible explains that we should forgive. The hardest and most important part in the process of forgiveness is the act of "forgetting the foul." The one who has been hurt, has to replace the hurt, forget it, and place it so far in the subconscious mind; never to be recoverable. The "delete" button has been hit, and the evidence of your impartial and "wrong" thoughts or deeds must give way to the clouds...disappearing in space, unrecoverable.
Since we are all human, this, in and of itself; is almost an insurmountable act. In my humble opinion; and I do mean humble, women have a tendency to forget; with the "possibility of recovery." The offense may have went into the "spam" folder, but it is able to be plucked and used against you if even a possibility exists, that a future or similar offense would justify bringing the old act to the forefront.
Men are better at sweeping things "under the rug" so-to-speak, but we are also human. My point is that we HAVE to first forget, before we can TRULY FORGIVE.
It additionally comes with a cost. In many instances there is a hefty price attached to that "act" of forgiveness. And the process could take hours, days, months, years, and in some instances decades, or multiples, thereof.
Seemingly, apologies should be easy to muster and deliver. We do not, normally, intend to hurt others; at least not in a malicious manner, and certainly not in a harmful way that causes deep, emotional pain. So while the process should be second nature: Offense, Apology; it is often not something we are willing to offer (the apology) because of the HUGE fear of rejection by the other party.
There are additionally "levels of authority" which can make said apologies a little, or a lot, tougher to deliver. Apologizing to the neighbor for kicking the football in the yard next door, is not even in the same stadium as offending your colleague, friend, girlfriend, significant other, fiancé, wife or fifty or even sixty-year marriage marriage companion. After all, shouldn't we have developed an natural acquaintance, informal, formal or bonded relationship that allows us to inherently know "right" from "wrong?"
I guess this is where the problem; getting to the root of our offense, that makes the offense seem "larger than life"; and the act of apologizing the same as "death." I'm not sure about you, but a death sentence, on any level and under any circumstances is not a welcome thought.
This process from start, offense; to finish, apology; may seem as something that is more insurmountable that Mt. Everest itself, but it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to restore some sense of emotional health in your own life; hopefully, with time, having long-lasting effects.
Apologies are necessary. Committing acts that require an apology, can be avoided.
The next time you think you may be in a position to even begin to "toe the line"; in the proverbial soccer or volleyball analogy, "Tread carefully, young Grasshopper!" You will be glad you followed the process of thinking, before speaking; refraining, before doing.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Atonement: Part Dos
I learned a hard lesson about atonement yesterday. But, it was also concerning personal finances, which I have had to swallow a "large pill" since 2006.
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Atonement Part Uno
It was suggested by my future "editor", that I revise a few chapters in my first series on Integrity; but by and large, that would take away from, or hide my true feelings at the time. I certainly lost some ground with respect to a friendship, and what I hoped would become more than, but I got scared. Events that were slated to happen caused fear in me to the "point of no return", which what I had envisioned as my last chance at a great and lasting LOVE!
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
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