Atonement is a hard pill to swallow!
No matter who you are, or what you've done against others; one thing is for sure...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
I am currently in the Rocky Mountains. It was a beautiful sight to see flying in, more magical as I drove to my destination and most likely unbelievable if I happen to make it to the base of one of these monstrous behemoths. I'm not sure which mountain range that the song, "Home, Home on the Range", was referring to; but it could have easily been the Rockies.
I find myself in quite the quandary today. Apologies are tough. Contemplating about making apologies is tough; and the delivery is sometimes earth-shattering. That lump in your throat will eventually be removed in the process, but the process from start to finish seems unbearable at times. So, without doubt, I am in a place with a heavy heart today.
Perhaps the worst part in "atone-ning", is the thought that a valiant effort; no matter how good, will not restore things to what they once were. Can you at some point in the future repay the debt. Can that relationship REALLY be repaired. Why is it, that swallowing your pride and simply saying, "I'm sorry", really that hard?
Mostly, I think it has to do with fear. We can essentially "lay our cards" on the table; for everyone to see, and in the end it matters not. Trust has been lost, trust can not be restored, "game over." There are no more innings to be played, you will not pass "GO" and collect $200 and there is NO "Get out of Jail Free Card." Damage that you hoped would be repairable, is just not so.
The Bible explains that we should forgive. The hardest and most important part in the process of forgiveness is the act of "forgetting the foul." The one who has been hurt, has to replace the hurt, forget it, and place it so far in the subconscious mind; never to be recoverable. The "delete" button has been hit, and the evidence of your impartial and "wrong" thoughts or deeds must give way to the clouds...disappearing in space, unrecoverable.
Since we are all human, this, in and of itself; is almost an insurmountable act. In my humble opinion; and I do mean humble, women have a tendency to forget; with the "possibility of recovery." The offense may have went into the "spam" folder, but it is able to be plucked and used against you if even a possibility exists, that a future or similar offense would justify bringing the old act to the forefront.
Men are better at sweeping things "under the rug" so-to-speak, but we are also human. My point is that we HAVE to first forget, before we can TRULY FORGIVE.
It additionally comes with a cost. In many instances there is a hefty price attached to that "act" of forgiveness. And the process could take hours, days, months, years, and in some instances decades, or multiples, thereof.
Seemingly, apologies should be easy to muster and deliver. We do not, normally, intend to hurt others; at least not in a malicious manner, and certainly not in a harmful way that causes deep, emotional pain. So while the process should be second nature: Offense, Apology; it is often not something we are willing to offer (the apology) because of the HUGE fear of rejection by the other party.
There are additionally "levels of authority" which can make said apologies a little, or a lot, tougher to deliver. Apologizing to the neighbor for kicking the football in the yard next door, is not even in the same stadium as offending your colleague, friend, girlfriend, significant other, fiancé, wife or fifty or even sixty-year marriage marriage companion. After all, shouldn't we have developed an natural acquaintance, informal, formal or bonded relationship that allows us to inherently know "right" from "wrong?"
I guess this is where the problem; getting to the root of our offense, that makes the offense seem "larger than life"; and the act of apologizing the same as "death." I'm not sure about you, but a death sentence, on any level and under any circumstances is not a welcome thought.
This process from start, offense; to finish, apology; may seem as something that is more insurmountable that Mt. Everest itself, but it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to restore some sense of emotional health in your own life; hopefully, with time, having long-lasting effects.
Apologies are necessary. Committing acts that require an apology, can be avoided.
The next time you think you may be in a position to even begin to "toe the line"; in the proverbial soccer or volleyball analogy, "Tread carefully, young Grasshopper!" You will be glad you followed the process of thinking, before speaking; refraining, before doing.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Atonement: Part Dos
I learned a hard lesson about atonement yesterday. But, it was also concerning personal finances, which I have had to swallow a "large pill" since 2006.
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Atonement Part Uno
It was suggested by my future "editor", that I revise a few chapters in my first series on Integrity; but by and large, that would take away from, or hide my true feelings at the time. I certainly lost some ground with respect to a friendship, and what I hoped would become more than, but I got scared. Events that were slated to happen caused fear in me to the "point of no return", which what I had envisioned as my last chance at a great and lasting LOVE!
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Integrity: Part Seis
After spending five parts on the subject of integrity, I am going to attempt to bring all of the principles together.
In "Part One", I defined integrity as "doing the right thing when no one else is looking." While that may not be a novel concept, and even perhaps one you have heard before by definition; I believe it is the best way to categorize this important word.
If we make an attempt at having peace with the world and ourselves, the idea aforementioned will not be so hard to achieve. Striving to cancel out the vagaries of life and the "darts" that will will surely be thrown at us, will have an impact that is likely to be felt less, allowing us to combat the turn of events that are thrown our way.
For me, being homeless for fifty-four day, and without a regular and sustainable income for thirty-four of them was a strong lesson in humility. I enjoyed my time with other veterans who needed a "hand-up" instead of a "hand-out."
Trips to waterfalls, and going to events such as the Apple Festival was a respite in and of itself. For these times, and along the way making new friends that would never had crossed my path was refreshing and life-changing; to say the least.
Reconnecting with God in an way that is hardly explainable was the most enlightening part of the process, and I was given the awesome opportunity to share that experience with others.
In "Part Two", I mentioned that the word "integrity" is not prominently found, or greatly accessible unless you are looking for it. It is only mentioned sixteen times in the entirety of the King James Version of the Bible. However, David and Saul/Paul, come to mind when considering the credibility and importance of the word. In my day, I attempt to "say what I mean, and mean what I say", with the most appropriate words possible; and removing myself from interactions and discussions that might be troublesome to my ability to uphold this principle and value that I have come to desire to greatly embrace. Fewer words are many times better than expressing your opinions.
By trusting God, and walking in honesty and righteousness, will go a long way toward keeping one in the realm, in a strong way, with respect to integrity. Furthermore, the lasting consequences from breaking the bond of integrity will rather have a positive effect for the years that you are alive, and the legacy that you pass on to generations long after you are gone.
In "Part Three", I talked about my individual transformation. It has felt like the days between August 10 and July 31, 2016, will forever be a turning point. My relationships should be better, my ability to communicate effectively will be enhanced, my ability to make a positive impact on others, daily, were evident during that time; and I would hope be a precursor to continued growth, and my personal relationship with God has expanded and propelled my life to Higher-highs instead of lower-lows."
I like to think that my transformation was similar to Paul's; and if I can make 1/10th of the impact that he made on others during his time on earth, my life would embody a significant meaning to others in my circle of influence.
"Part Four" takes a stand on the embodiment of our positions and attitudes. People are always going to watch us, with a bent toward prejudice. It is a force of nature to want to be "better" than the next man. In reality though, we were made in the likeness of a perfect man. Jesus never once committed sin, yet was asked, and died, for all people. We are all sinners. And while he asked, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me", he took and completed the responsibility for every man and woman that will ever walk this earth. We need to "all" be cognizant of this fact, Christian or not.
I an attempt to "wrap your head" around this concept; or theory if you are not a Christian, we need to take a proverbial stance in the respect of others and the way we will handle the inevitable adversity that life will certainly be "thrown our way."
Be one-hundred percent committed to your family, friends and to those for which you have a direct impact over. "Stand in the Gap", if you will. What you believe, say and do will radiate and influence others; so an attempt to make these interactions positive, should be something that we all strive for. You will feel better about those opportunities set forth to lift the spirits of others and it will be felt inwardly.
Set goals which are measurable and time specific. Allow room for error, but not defeat. We all strive to achieve something, so let your legacy speak for itself. One who does the right thing, as much as humanly possible, has little to explain. And along the way, examine yourself and your progress. Award those goals which are met, and change course when necessary to stretch yourself in the process toward the eventual attainment. Having a mindset toward success is always a good place to start. Along the way, you must have faith, trust and a strong belief that the projected outcome will come your way; if you put God at the center of your plans. That is not to say that He will not take you in an "entirely" different direction from the planned course, but you can be sure that you will be blessed along the way in the progression and the eventual "end of the line."
In "Part 5", I made the bold statement that our outsides should match our insides. If we start with the intestinal fortitude that lies deep in the recesses of our individual self, that will radiate outward; in our thoughts, actions and feelings. We will not feel an imbalance within ourselves and will instead not feel a conflict between integrity, or the ethical and moral decisions that must be made in our daily lives.
I have found in my life that I listen more, and talk less, as I get older. It is a natural progression for some, and for others, a statement or opinion is always forthcoming. It becomes something that you can just expect from some people.
Paul tells Timothy and us to "persevere." To watch our doctrine closely. Be diligent and give yourself "wholly" to the process, and in the progression in all matters; we will save ourselves and other. Talk about a bold statement?
Obstacles will be forever present, but with your confident and fervent manner to strive toward integrity, the "big" things in life will become small. Timothy was sent by Paul with a definitive purpose; and despite his youth and the challenges he would certainly face; as we all do, having confidence despite challenges, foreseen and unseen, will become minute if we are confident about reaching our goal(s).
Be vigilant in your conduct. Love others. Be pure. Have faith.
God has a purpose for each and every one of us. From building churches, or running a Fortune 500 company, we needn't try to figure it all out at once.
Walking with "Integrity" will go a long way.
In "Part One", I defined integrity as "doing the right thing when no one else is looking." While that may not be a novel concept, and even perhaps one you have heard before by definition; I believe it is the best way to categorize this important word.
If we make an attempt at having peace with the world and ourselves, the idea aforementioned will not be so hard to achieve. Striving to cancel out the vagaries of life and the "darts" that will will surely be thrown at us, will have an impact that is likely to be felt less, allowing us to combat the turn of events that are thrown our way.
For me, being homeless for fifty-four day, and without a regular and sustainable income for thirty-four of them was a strong lesson in humility. I enjoyed my time with other veterans who needed a "hand-up" instead of a "hand-out."
Trips to waterfalls, and going to events such as the Apple Festival was a respite in and of itself. For these times, and along the way making new friends that would never had crossed my path was refreshing and life-changing; to say the least.
Reconnecting with God in an way that is hardly explainable was the most enlightening part of the process, and I was given the awesome opportunity to share that experience with others.
In "Part Two", I mentioned that the word "integrity" is not prominently found, or greatly accessible unless you are looking for it. It is only mentioned sixteen times in the entirety of the King James Version of the Bible. However, David and Saul/Paul, come to mind when considering the credibility and importance of the word. In my day, I attempt to "say what I mean, and mean what I say", with the most appropriate words possible; and removing myself from interactions and discussions that might be troublesome to my ability to uphold this principle and value that I have come to desire to greatly embrace. Fewer words are many times better than expressing your opinions.
By trusting God, and walking in honesty and righteousness, will go a long way toward keeping one in the realm, in a strong way, with respect to integrity. Furthermore, the lasting consequences from breaking the bond of integrity will rather have a positive effect for the years that you are alive, and the legacy that you pass on to generations long after you are gone.
In "Part Three", I talked about my individual transformation. It has felt like the days between August 10 and July 31, 2016, will forever be a turning point. My relationships should be better, my ability to communicate effectively will be enhanced, my ability to make a positive impact on others, daily, were evident during that time; and I would hope be a precursor to continued growth, and my personal relationship with God has expanded and propelled my life to Higher-highs instead of lower-lows."
I like to think that my transformation was similar to Paul's; and if I can make 1/10th of the impact that he made on others during his time on earth, my life would embody a significant meaning to others in my circle of influence.
"Part Four" takes a stand on the embodiment of our positions and attitudes. People are always going to watch us, with a bent toward prejudice. It is a force of nature to want to be "better" than the next man. In reality though, we were made in the likeness of a perfect man. Jesus never once committed sin, yet was asked, and died, for all people. We are all sinners. And while he asked, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me", he took and completed the responsibility for every man and woman that will ever walk this earth. We need to "all" be cognizant of this fact, Christian or not.
I an attempt to "wrap your head" around this concept; or theory if you are not a Christian, we need to take a proverbial stance in the respect of others and the way we will handle the inevitable adversity that life will certainly be "thrown our way."
Be one-hundred percent committed to your family, friends and to those for which you have a direct impact over. "Stand in the Gap", if you will. What you believe, say and do will radiate and influence others; so an attempt to make these interactions positive, should be something that we all strive for. You will feel better about those opportunities set forth to lift the spirits of others and it will be felt inwardly.
Set goals which are measurable and time specific. Allow room for error, but not defeat. We all strive to achieve something, so let your legacy speak for itself. One who does the right thing, as much as humanly possible, has little to explain. And along the way, examine yourself and your progress. Award those goals which are met, and change course when necessary to stretch yourself in the process toward the eventual attainment. Having a mindset toward success is always a good place to start. Along the way, you must have faith, trust and a strong belief that the projected outcome will come your way; if you put God at the center of your plans. That is not to say that He will not take you in an "entirely" different direction from the planned course, but you can be sure that you will be blessed along the way in the progression and the eventual "end of the line."
In "Part 5", I made the bold statement that our outsides should match our insides. If we start with the intestinal fortitude that lies deep in the recesses of our individual self, that will radiate outward; in our thoughts, actions and feelings. We will not feel an imbalance within ourselves and will instead not feel a conflict between integrity, or the ethical and moral decisions that must be made in our daily lives.
I have found in my life that I listen more, and talk less, as I get older. It is a natural progression for some, and for others, a statement or opinion is always forthcoming. It becomes something that you can just expect from some people.
Paul tells Timothy and us to "persevere." To watch our doctrine closely. Be diligent and give yourself "wholly" to the process, and in the progression in all matters; we will save ourselves and other. Talk about a bold statement?
Obstacles will be forever present, but with your confident and fervent manner to strive toward integrity, the "big" things in life will become small. Timothy was sent by Paul with a definitive purpose; and despite his youth and the challenges he would certainly face; as we all do, having confidence despite challenges, foreseen and unseen, will become minute if we are confident about reaching our goal(s).
Be vigilant in your conduct. Love others. Be pure. Have faith.
God has a purpose for each and every one of us. From building churches, or running a Fortune 500 company, we needn't try to figure it all out at once.
Walking with "Integrity" will go a long way.
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Integrity: Part Cinco
In the model of integrity, our outside should match our inside. Our thoughts, our feelings, our actions.
People will immediately notice if you are even an inkling out of balance in your walk with a mindset toward integrity. An imbalance will make you seem fake, untrustworthy, and even on the inside, you will feel at conflict with your own self. People judge! That is to be expected, as we are all imperfect. We each; whether we realize it or not, have our own prejudices in life.
I make a confident stride to act with integrity each day. I enter the "in door" at stores, clean up after myself in public restrooms, and even at home; I try to do nice things like opening the door for my fiance, and holding the door for others in public places. And at all times, you can bet that people are watching; waiting for a misstep on your/my part. They are saying under their breath and with their thoughts, "On what part of his normal day will Anthony 'drop the ball on' in his daily walk?"
Integrity can sometimes be put in the the same category as ethics and moral. Do we follow the rules at work? Do we stay away from getting our "toes on the chalk" as we go about our day? Again, any compromise will cause others pause.
Paul's counterpart Timothy was given instruction in 1 Timothy 4:15-16.
The Bible says; according to Paul's instruction to Timothy:
"Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
While this passage points to us as communicators, it is also just as important to "persevere" in our actions; even our body language and facial expressions. People notice much more than we realize. Notice that Paul says two things which are closely related to what I have written above.
The first is to, "watch our life and doctrine closely." Paul suggests to Timothy that we should not only examine ourselves in our words and actions, but also the "way" we go about doing things; and with what purpose. He then goes on to explain how important "perseverance" is. Perseverance has always been something that I have thought about with respect to the goals in my life. Sadly, those goals have been centered around things like money, success and achievement at work, the title at my current job and how quickly I can get to another step or rung on the corporate ladder?
While success makes us feel good about things; important, valued, etc., I think Paul is referring here to a constant state of evangelism. He is saying to Timothy, "Go see the people as I have instructed you. Visit those who have seen and believed; and just as or more importantly, strive to bring new people to Christ!" Timothy was supposed to do this fervently, and with conviction, until the mission was accomplished; the job finished.
One thing of note for me in verse 15 is the following: Paul tells Timothy not only to "give yourself wholly to them, but also; and I think more importantly is to "let others see your progress." As I mentioned earlier, people are always watching.
For most, or at least some women, this is a very important part of distinction between potential suitors. They want a man who is, "strong, confident, decisive, goal-driven; and trustworthy and honest while showing respect for them and others." And these are not the only attributes. The list could certainly continue...
If you go back a few verses prior to 1 Timothy 15-16, you see exactly in what manner Timothy is supposed to instruct. Timothy is young at this point, so one of the challenges that he would have face is delivering his message; with a goal-driven and distinct purpose, to the elders. Paul is confident in Timothy, despite his obstacles or challenges; or he would not have chosen him for this task.
Timothy is instructed to teach the following things to the people of Ephesus (the Ephesians):
Conduct, Love, Faith and Purity.
He was expected to do this with a purpose. He was supposed to build up the church. He was supposed to rid Ephesus of false teachers. He was expected to lead, without compromise or blemish; God's people and to those that would come to God in Ephesus.
People will immediately notice if you are even an inkling out of balance in your walk with a mindset toward integrity. An imbalance will make you seem fake, untrustworthy, and even on the inside, you will feel at conflict with your own self. People judge! That is to be expected, as we are all imperfect. We each; whether we realize it or not, have our own prejudices in life.
I make a confident stride to act with integrity each day. I enter the "in door" at stores, clean up after myself in public restrooms, and even at home; I try to do nice things like opening the door for my fiance, and holding the door for others in public places. And at all times, you can bet that people are watching; waiting for a misstep on your/my part. They are saying under their breath and with their thoughts, "On what part of his normal day will Anthony 'drop the ball on' in his daily walk?"
Integrity can sometimes be put in the the same category as ethics and moral. Do we follow the rules at work? Do we stay away from getting our "toes on the chalk" as we go about our day? Again, any compromise will cause others pause.
Paul's counterpart Timothy was given instruction in 1 Timothy 4:15-16.
The Bible says; according to Paul's instruction to Timothy:
"Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."
While this passage points to us as communicators, it is also just as important to "persevere" in our actions; even our body language and facial expressions. People notice much more than we realize. Notice that Paul says two things which are closely related to what I have written above.
The first is to, "watch our life and doctrine closely." Paul suggests to Timothy that we should not only examine ourselves in our words and actions, but also the "way" we go about doing things; and with what purpose. He then goes on to explain how important "perseverance" is. Perseverance has always been something that I have thought about with respect to the goals in my life. Sadly, those goals have been centered around things like money, success and achievement at work, the title at my current job and how quickly I can get to another step or rung on the corporate ladder?
While success makes us feel good about things; important, valued, etc., I think Paul is referring here to a constant state of evangelism. He is saying to Timothy, "Go see the people as I have instructed you. Visit those who have seen and believed; and just as or more importantly, strive to bring new people to Christ!" Timothy was supposed to do this fervently, and with conviction, until the mission was accomplished; the job finished.
One thing of note for me in verse 15 is the following: Paul tells Timothy not only to "give yourself wholly to them, but also; and I think more importantly is to "let others see your progress." As I mentioned earlier, people are always watching.
For most, or at least some women, this is a very important part of distinction between potential suitors. They want a man who is, "strong, confident, decisive, goal-driven; and trustworthy and honest while showing respect for them and others." And these are not the only attributes. The list could certainly continue...
If you go back a few verses prior to 1 Timothy 15-16, you see exactly in what manner Timothy is supposed to instruct. Timothy is young at this point, so one of the challenges that he would have face is delivering his message; with a goal-driven and distinct purpose, to the elders. Paul is confident in Timothy, despite his obstacles or challenges; or he would not have chosen him for this task.
Timothy is instructed to teach the following things to the people of Ephesus (the Ephesians):
Conduct, Love, Faith and Purity.
He was expected to do this with a purpose. He was supposed to build up the church. He was supposed to rid Ephesus of false teachers. He was expected to lead, without compromise or blemish; God's people and to those that would come to God in Ephesus.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Integrity Part Quatro
This morning, as I was thinking about integrity, I was examining myself, my thoughts and my actions. As mentioned previously, I have become quite bold in the last sixty days or so. Not only am I happier with my new "boldness", but the air in my walk, talk and attitude resonates, reflects and is infectious to others. People no longer have to ask where I might stand on any issue, as I am not to shy to let anyone know.
It's the little things that make all the difference. Does your trash find the trash can. Are you cognizant of the fact that those around you are watching you to see if you are setting a good example. Do you let others influence you in a way that might effect the way you think and feel. I can tell you with certainty that I stand where I stand, believe in what I speak, say what I mean and walk the line on what I feel is right.
After his transformation from Saul to Paul, an immediate change swept thru Paul's heart, mind, body and soul. He was "on fire for Christ." No one was going to stand in his way. A little more than ten years ago, I went to an event called "Stand in the Gap." A million men lined the long area in Washington, DC, where Dr. Martin Luther King gave his, "I Have a Dream" speech. This event was focused on men that had made a renewed commitment to take a stand for Christianity even in the face of adversity. They would take a stand for their families, their beliefs and the rights afforded to us in this country for Freedom of Religion. Our forefathers founded this country on, "One Nation Under God", and I do not personally understand how that directive placed forth by the signers of the Declaration of Independence has become so misconstrued and simply forgotten.
Why do we no loner say the "Pledge of Allegiance" in school? Who mandated that we should not fly the American flag, or remove monuments that bear the resemblance that institutions can embody the rights that this country was founded on near and in public institutions. The church is a dying institution, and while I can not be certain of the statistics, most people, and especially Christians, would be terribly concerned by the bar-to-church ratio on many street corners, cities, states and the numbers for the entire country. This was not the defined plan or directive that our forefathers had in mind.
When is the last time that you compromised your personal opinions, actions, beliefs or position on an issue that you thought was immovable. How did you feel? What happened to your "intestinal fortitude." I can still hear loud and clear as those previous words in quotations were used often in pre and post-game speeches by my high school football coach. In college, I saw a man, my coach, who was stricken with Lou Gehrig's disease. Probably the best coach in the East Coast Atlantic Conference for Division III football, he always took a stance on what our players individually were supposed to embody, both on and off the field. We were not only encouraged, but made to uphold a standard in the classroom. Our personal actions on campus were closely monitored. It is undoubtedly the people in our lives that have this level of integrity who can demand and deserve respect, absent of the beliefs, actions, opinions and personal decisions in our daily lives.
Going back to Paul, he was active not only in the community where he was at the present time, but additionally sent instructions via letter to those places that he had previously visited, and in the future places where he would express his authority toward building a strong and focused evangelical push for Christ. He was in no way, shape or form going to compromise his position. He was steadfast on a straight and narrow line given to him divinely by God, and he was going to follow that directive to a "T".
We should all strive to be more like Paul. What is it that you are striving to push toward in your daily walk with God? Are you one hundred percent committed to the path that you have set out for yourself and that of your family, community and circle of friend whom you might have influence over? Are you certain that you will not waiver? Will you command respect by other because of what they see in you? How will react in the face of adversity?
All of these, and more questions not listed need to be examined. I encourage you to take a hard look at your own goals. A wise man one said to "place your goals in cement, and your plans in sand." If we would only apply this principle in our daily lives, I believe the difference in the short and long-term would e noticed in an immeasurable way in our lives.
Are you ready to be "bold" and take action? A great slogan from Nike read on many of their wares says, "Just Do It!" Take the time to apply principle earnestly and with a measurable purpose on a measurable time-frame. You will be incredibly impressed and even in awe of the results and outcome.
It's the little things that make all the difference. Does your trash find the trash can. Are you cognizant of the fact that those around you are watching you to see if you are setting a good example. Do you let others influence you in a way that might effect the way you think and feel. I can tell you with certainty that I stand where I stand, believe in what I speak, say what I mean and walk the line on what I feel is right.
After his transformation from Saul to Paul, an immediate change swept thru Paul's heart, mind, body and soul. He was "on fire for Christ." No one was going to stand in his way. A little more than ten years ago, I went to an event called "Stand in the Gap." A million men lined the long area in Washington, DC, where Dr. Martin Luther King gave his, "I Have a Dream" speech. This event was focused on men that had made a renewed commitment to take a stand for Christianity even in the face of adversity. They would take a stand for their families, their beliefs and the rights afforded to us in this country for Freedom of Religion. Our forefathers founded this country on, "One Nation Under God", and I do not personally understand how that directive placed forth by the signers of the Declaration of Independence has become so misconstrued and simply forgotten.
Why do we no loner say the "Pledge of Allegiance" in school? Who mandated that we should not fly the American flag, or remove monuments that bear the resemblance that institutions can embody the rights that this country was founded on near and in public institutions. The church is a dying institution, and while I can not be certain of the statistics, most people, and especially Christians, would be terribly concerned by the bar-to-church ratio on many street corners, cities, states and the numbers for the entire country. This was not the defined plan or directive that our forefathers had in mind.
When is the last time that you compromised your personal opinions, actions, beliefs or position on an issue that you thought was immovable. How did you feel? What happened to your "intestinal fortitude." I can still hear loud and clear as those previous words in quotations were used often in pre and post-game speeches by my high school football coach. In college, I saw a man, my coach, who was stricken with Lou Gehrig's disease. Probably the best coach in the East Coast Atlantic Conference for Division III football, he always took a stance on what our players individually were supposed to embody, both on and off the field. We were not only encouraged, but made to uphold a standard in the classroom. Our personal actions on campus were closely monitored. It is undoubtedly the people in our lives that have this level of integrity who can demand and deserve respect, absent of the beliefs, actions, opinions and personal decisions in our daily lives.
Going back to Paul, he was active not only in the community where he was at the present time, but additionally sent instructions via letter to those places that he had previously visited, and in the future places where he would express his authority toward building a strong and focused evangelical push for Christ. He was in no way, shape or form going to compromise his position. He was steadfast on a straight and narrow line given to him divinely by God, and he was going to follow that directive to a "T".
We should all strive to be more like Paul. What is it that you are striving to push toward in your daily walk with God? Are you one hundred percent committed to the path that you have set out for yourself and that of your family, community and circle of friend whom you might have influence over? Are you certain that you will not waiver? Will you command respect by other because of what they see in you? How will react in the face of adversity?
All of these, and more questions not listed need to be examined. I encourage you to take a hard look at your own goals. A wise man one said to "place your goals in cement, and your plans in sand." If we would only apply this principle in our daily lives, I believe the difference in the short and long-term would e noticed in an immeasurable way in our lives.
Are you ready to be "bold" and take action? A great slogan from Nike read on many of their wares says, "Just Do It!" Take the time to apply principle earnestly and with a measurable purpose on a measurable time-frame. You will be incredibly impressed and even in awe of the results and outcome.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Integrity Part Tres
Quite a bit has happened and changed since August 10, 2016. I am nothing less than a changed man.
Just prior to; however, I was a mousy, pitiful excuse for a step-father. I was trying to keep a family afloat, my fiance happy and her sons even happier. To no avail, I failed, and walked out at the end of July.
A "God-breathed" turn of events would happen on Sunday night, October 2, 2016. Cynthia Michele, whom I had called my fiance for nearly the past two-and-a-half years, re-emerged into my life. Without a doubt in my "noodle"; otherwise known as my brain in "Layman's terms", we were able to rekindle the fire that was once our much-need-of-repair relationship on October 3, 2016. As mentioned previously, a lot had changed.
I had left the Veteran's Restoration Quarters on Friday, July 31, to begin new life in Charlotte, North Carolina. Little did I know, that within a few days, I would have a companion to hold, again, that was once that familiar face that I woke up to every morning, and laid down with, hand-in-hand, each night.In total, we were separated for fifty-four days; of which, we had "NO" communication for thirty-eight. Cynthia wrote me letters, sent me gifts, visited me once, prayed for me daily to return to her; and never once, lost faith that God would ultimately bring us back together; closer in love, on fire for God and stronger than ever in a relationship between man and woman...man and fiance.
I had become a "completely" changed man in fifty-four days, and as I would realize on Monday, October 3, that Cynthia had blossomed and had become a changed woman herself. Absent of our Holy Father, there is no possible explanation for the changes that had taken place in both of our live in that fifty-four day period. Somehow, we had each grown stronger, despite being apart.
It was once mentioned by a friend I will no longer be acquainted with by personal choice, that "I" reminded her of Paul the Apostle. Impossible to live up to; even given the fact that we are both men descended from Abraham, placed on this earth by God, and advised and encouraged to follow in his footsteps and in his ways and finally to minister and evangelize for his purposes; we are surely not "one in the same." In my mind, my name does not even belong in the same sentence of Paul the Apostle? However, understanding and trying to live a life of humility and integrity, this compliment was accepted. After all, I am what is labeled as a "Words of Encouragement" person; in the first position, based on the principles behind "The Five Love Languages", a book written by Christian author, speaker, and devout Christian, Gary Chapman.
Someone who is interested in finding out what their "Love Languages" are can find them here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/
Just prior to; however, I was a mousy, pitiful excuse for a step-father. I was trying to keep a family afloat, my fiance happy and her sons even happier. To no avail, I failed, and walked out at the end of July.
A "God-breathed" turn of events would happen on Sunday night, October 2, 2016. Cynthia Michele, whom I had called my fiance for nearly the past two-and-a-half years, re-emerged into my life. Without a doubt in my "noodle"; otherwise known as my brain in "Layman's terms", we were able to rekindle the fire that was once our much-need-of-repair relationship on October 3, 2016. As mentioned previously, a lot had changed.
I had left the Veteran's Restoration Quarters on Friday, July 31, to begin new life in Charlotte, North Carolina. Little did I know, that within a few days, I would have a companion to hold, again, that was once that familiar face that I woke up to every morning, and laid down with, hand-in-hand, each night.In total, we were separated for fifty-four days; of which, we had "NO" communication for thirty-eight. Cynthia wrote me letters, sent me gifts, visited me once, prayed for me daily to return to her; and never once, lost faith that God would ultimately bring us back together; closer in love, on fire for God and stronger than ever in a relationship between man and woman...man and fiance.
I had become a "completely" changed man in fifty-four days, and as I would realize on Monday, October 3, that Cynthia had blossomed and had become a changed woman herself. Absent of our Holy Father, there is no possible explanation for the changes that had taken place in both of our live in that fifty-four day period. Somehow, we had each grown stronger, despite being apart.
It was once mentioned by a friend I will no longer be acquainted with by personal choice, that "I" reminded her of Paul the Apostle. Impossible to live up to; even given the fact that we are both men descended from Abraham, placed on this earth by God, and advised and encouraged to follow in his footsteps and in his ways and finally to minister and evangelize for his purposes; we are surely not "one in the same." In my mind, my name does not even belong in the same sentence of Paul the Apostle? However, understanding and trying to live a life of humility and integrity, this compliment was accepted. After all, I am what is labeled as a "Words of Encouragement" person; in the first position, based on the principles behind "The Five Love Languages", a book written by Christian author, speaker, and devout Christian, Gary Chapman.
Someone who is interested in finding out what their "Love Languages" are can find them here:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/
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