After spending five parts on the subject of integrity, I am going to attempt to bring all of the principles together.
In
"Part One", I defined integrity as "doing the right thing when no one
else is looking." While that may not be a novel concept, and even
perhaps one you have heard before by definition; I believe it is the
best way to categorize this important word.
If we make
an attempt at having peace with the world and ourselves, the idea
aforementioned will not be so hard to achieve. Striving to cancel out
the vagaries of life and the "darts" that will will surely be thrown at
us, will have an impact that is likely to be felt less, allowing us to
combat the turn of events that are thrown our way.
For
me, being homeless for fifty-four day, and without a regular and
sustainable income for thirty-four of them was a strong lesson in
humility. I enjoyed my time with other veterans who needed a "hand-up"
instead of a "hand-out."
Trips to waterfalls, and going
to events such as the Apple Festival was a respite in and of itself.
For these times, and along the way making new friends that would never
had crossed my path was refreshing and life-changing; to say the least.
Reconnecting
with God in an way that is hardly explainable was the most enlightening
part of the process, and I was given the awesome opportunity to share
that experience with others.
In "Part Two", I mentioned
that the word "integrity" is not prominently found, or greatly
accessible unless you are looking for it. It is only mentioned sixteen
times in the entirety of the King James Version of the Bible. However,
David and Saul/Paul, come to mind when considering the credibility and
importance of the word. In my day, I attempt to "say what I mean, and
mean what I say", with the most appropriate words possible; and removing
myself from interactions and discussions that might be troublesome to
my ability to uphold this principle and value that I have come to desire
to greatly embrace. Fewer words are many times better than expressing
your opinions.
By trusting God, and walking in honesty
and righteousness, will go a long way toward keeping one in the realm,
in a strong way, with respect to integrity. Furthermore, the lasting
consequences from breaking the bond of integrity will rather have a
positive effect for the years that you are alive, and the legacy that
you pass on to generations long after you are gone.
In
"Part Three", I talked about my individual transformation. It has felt
like the days between August 10 and July 31, 2016, will forever be a
turning point. My relationships should be better, my ability to
communicate effectively will be enhanced, my ability to make a positive
impact on others, daily, were evident during that time; and I would hope
be a precursor to continued growth, and my personal relationship with
God has expanded and propelled my life to Higher-highs instead of
lower-lows."
I like to think that my transformation was
similar to Paul's; and if I can make 1/10th of the impact that he made
on others during his time on earth, my life would embody a significant
meaning to others in my circle of influence.
"Part
Four" takes a stand on the embodiment of our positions and attitudes.
People are always going to watch us, with a bent toward prejudice. It is
a force of nature to want to be "better" than the next man. In reality
though, we were made in the likeness of a perfect man. Jesus never once
committed sin, yet was asked, and died, for all people. We are all
sinners. And while he asked, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me",
he took and completed the responsibility for every man and woman that
will ever walk this earth. We need to "all" be cognizant of this fact,
Christian or not.
I an attempt to "wrap your head"
around this concept; or theory if you are not a Christian, we need to
take a proverbial stance in the respect of others and the way we will
handle the inevitable adversity that life will certainly be "thrown our
way."
Be one-hundred percent committed to your family,
friends and to those for which you have a direct impact over. "Stand in
the Gap", if you will. What you believe, say and do will radiate and
influence others; so an attempt to make these interactions positive,
should be something that we all strive for. You will feel better about
those opportunities set forth to lift the spirits of others and it will
be felt inwardly.
Set goals which are measurable and
time specific. Allow room for error, but not defeat. We all strive to
achieve something, so let your legacy speak for itself. One who does the
right thing, as much as humanly possible, has little to explain. And
along the way, examine yourself and your progress. Award those goals
which are met, and change course when necessary to stretch yourself in
the process toward the eventual attainment. Having a mindset toward
success is always a good place to start. Along the way, you must have
faith, trust and a strong belief that the projected outcome will come
your way; if you put God at the center of your plans. That is not to say
that He will not take you in an "entirely" different direction from the
planned course, but you can be sure that you will be blessed along the
way in the progression and the eventual "end of the line."
In
"Part 5", I made the bold statement that our outsides should match our
insides. If we start with the intestinal fortitude that lies deep in the
recesses of our individual self, that will radiate outward; in our
thoughts, actions and feelings. We will not feel an imbalance within
ourselves and will instead not feel a conflict between integrity, or the
ethical and moral decisions that must be made in our daily lives.
I
have found in my life that I listen more, and talk less, as I get
older. It is a natural progression for some, and for others, a statement
or opinion is always forthcoming. It becomes something that you can
just expect from some people.
Paul tells Timothy and us
to "persevere." To watch our doctrine closely. Be diligent and give
yourself "wholly" to the process, and in the progression in all
matters; we will save ourselves and other. Talk about a bold statement?
Obstacles
will be forever present, but with your confident and fervent manner to
strive toward integrity, the "big" things in life will become small.
Timothy was sent by Paul with a definitive purpose; and despite his
youth and the challenges he would certainly face; as we all do, having
confidence despite challenges, foreseen and unseen, will become minute
if we are confident about reaching our goal(s).
Be vigilant in your conduct. Love others. Be pure. Have faith.
God
has a purpose for each and every one of us. From building churches, or
running a Fortune 500 company, we needn't try to figure it all out at
once.
Walking with "Integrity" will go a long way.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Patience: Part Deux
Yesterday I got to the bottom of the secret to patience.
Step 1: Pray Fervently
Step 2: Present your requests to God
Step 3: Wait; yes, actually wait
Step 4: Be content with the process and watch God work!
Currently, I am working diligently on being content in two areas...getting a solid offer in my chosen profession; moving from a contract consulting arrangement to a paid employee, and waiting; without much patience at this point, to move into my first house.
My cousin and I talked recently when I visited him in Denver, Colorado. We both agreed, that at this point in our lives, we imagined that we would have been quite a bit further with respect to the reality of where we actually are in our lives.
We seem to be a little discontent with where we are in our respective careers, our personal savings is certainly and undoubtedly NOT where we thought it should be, and; as a comparison to others in our family and network of friends, we seem to be behind and less stable than our family and respective counterparts that we set our bar against.
Are we really designed to be content? To be patient in our processes with respect to life, and our life goals?
I would wager that we are NOT! Even if we focus solely on completely comparing ourselves to ourselves; based on the goals, setbacks, wants, desires, dreams, and those things that we actually obtain; it is incredibly hard to be patient and content.
Why is this so?
I believe that often we set the bar "too high." If you have any aspirations of greatness, or you are as I am; a Type-A personality, you are definitely prone to setting goals that are outside of your reach. They say that goals are to be "SMART!" Specific, Manageable, Achievable, Reach-able, and with a specific Time of Time-frame for completion. Even the very best of us have a hard time defining goals in this way. I certainly did not come up with this acronym or moniker, but it does make sense at the core with respect to the idea; maintaining a positive and contented attitude while we are within the process to reaching our defined goals.
So, beyond following the aforementioned acronym closely; and fervently, "How can we be MORE content with the process?"
Do we need to simply believe and have faith in the SMART moniker? Do we need to believe and have faith in the Heinz slogan; which states that "Good Things Come to those Who Wait? Or do we just have to believe and have faith in Steps 1 - 4 mentioned above?
Surely following all three couldn't hurt, and could present actionable results. But what does the Apostle Paul say concerning the above?
For starters, I believe and have faith in the last part of the three-step process mentioned above. Pray, Ask, Wait, and Be Content have Faith; believing that the process will take care of the rest. It also helps; immensely, to have "SMART" goals, and then to have Faith that the Waiting within the Process will produce the desired outcome, in GOD's TIME!
While "hard to handle", following these steps have the ability to produce the desired results that you are looking for. Stop! comparing yourself to others. Focus on YOU and YOU alone. Reaching your personal goals, sans comparing yourself to others, can be liberating! Be content in the process. Set small SMART goals, and be as content in the process; as "humanly" possible.
Try it for a week, then a few weeks, and then a month. Start daily if you must. Personally, a "to-do-list" helps me. It feels good to cross things off the list. It makes the easy and hard things seem achievable. Start with the most important, and smallest; and then move on to the most small, and hardest. Then work up the list. You'll be amazed at how well you will feel, if you follow the above, and then apply this system.
In closing, I would say that, this now, four-step process will help you reach more goals, feel more productive, and finally, feel more confident in the process.
At this time of year, it is undeniably helpful to plan the goals that you want to reach in the coming year. 2017 is nearly here. One Holiday left, and then the impending New Year's celebration.
Start small, stay focused, cross things of the list daily.
Finally, "Draw your Plans in Sand, and Etch your Goals in Stone!" Draw with the proverbial stick in the sand daily, and prior to; get that Chisel swinging before drawing!
You'll be amazed at the eventual outcome, feel good along the way, and with faith and belief, you may just find at the end of 2017, you have accomplished more; looking back to the beginning of the year, than you ever have.
Cheers!
Step 1: Pray Fervently
Step 2: Present your requests to God
Step 3: Wait; yes, actually wait
Step 4: Be content with the process and watch God work!
Currently, I am working diligently on being content in two areas...getting a solid offer in my chosen profession; moving from a contract consulting arrangement to a paid employee, and waiting; without much patience at this point, to move into my first house.
My cousin and I talked recently when I visited him in Denver, Colorado. We both agreed, that at this point in our lives, we imagined that we would have been quite a bit further with respect to the reality of where we actually are in our lives.
We seem to be a little discontent with where we are in our respective careers, our personal savings is certainly and undoubtedly NOT where we thought it should be, and; as a comparison to others in our family and network of friends, we seem to be behind and less stable than our family and respective counterparts that we set our bar against.
Are we really designed to be content? To be patient in our processes with respect to life, and our life goals?
I would wager that we are NOT! Even if we focus solely on completely comparing ourselves to ourselves; based on the goals, setbacks, wants, desires, dreams, and those things that we actually obtain; it is incredibly hard to be patient and content.
Why is this so?
I believe that often we set the bar "too high." If you have any aspirations of greatness, or you are as I am; a Type-A personality, you are definitely prone to setting goals that are outside of your reach. They say that goals are to be "SMART!" Specific, Manageable, Achievable, Reach-able, and with a specific Time of Time-frame for completion. Even the very best of us have a hard time defining goals in this way. I certainly did not come up with this acronym or moniker, but it does make sense at the core with respect to the idea; maintaining a positive and contented attitude while we are within the process to reaching our defined goals.
So, beyond following the aforementioned acronym closely; and fervently, "How can we be MORE content with the process?"
Do we need to simply believe and have faith in the SMART moniker? Do we need to believe and have faith in the Heinz slogan; which states that "Good Things Come to those Who Wait? Or do we just have to believe and have faith in Steps 1 - 4 mentioned above?
Surely following all three couldn't hurt, and could present actionable results. But what does the Apostle Paul say concerning the above?
For starters, I believe and have faith in the last part of the three-step process mentioned above. Pray, Ask, Wait, and Be Content have Faith; believing that the process will take care of the rest. It also helps; immensely, to have "SMART" goals, and then to have Faith that the Waiting within the Process will produce the desired outcome, in GOD's TIME!
While "hard to handle", following these steps have the ability to produce the desired results that you are looking for. Stop! comparing yourself to others. Focus on YOU and YOU alone. Reaching your personal goals, sans comparing yourself to others, can be liberating! Be content in the process. Set small SMART goals, and be as content in the process; as "humanly" possible.
Try it for a week, then a few weeks, and then a month. Start daily if you must. Personally, a "to-do-list" helps me. It feels good to cross things off the list. It makes the easy and hard things seem achievable. Start with the most important, and smallest; and then move on to the most small, and hardest. Then work up the list. You'll be amazed at how well you will feel, if you follow the above, and then apply this system.
In closing, I would say that, this now, four-step process will help you reach more goals, feel more productive, and finally, feel more confident in the process.
At this time of year, it is undeniably helpful to plan the goals that you want to reach in the coming year. 2017 is nearly here. One Holiday left, and then the impending New Year's celebration.
Start small, stay focused, cross things of the list daily.
Finally, "Draw your Plans in Sand, and Etch your Goals in Stone!" Draw with the proverbial stick in the sand daily, and prior to; get that Chisel swinging before drawing!
You'll be amazed at the eventual outcome, feel good along the way, and with faith and belief, you may just find at the end of 2017, you have accomplished more; looking back to the beginning of the year, than you ever have.
Cheers!
Friday, December 16, 2016
Patience: Part Uno
They say that Patience "is a virtue."
I'm not sure I would define it that way, but it is undoubtedly a skill learned only through experience, and additionally requires much "ability"; in the art of practicing, to maintain.
The goal is simply to be is a state of static inertia. While this may sound "way" to scientific, it is nothing more than a state-of-mind, in practice.
Patience to me is being calm. Realizing the fact that there are only a few elements in your day that you can control. We can control the phone call to our mother, the phone calls to clients, marking of the to-do list on our calendar, and making dinner reservations after a long, hard day at the office.
We can also control what we do with our time and the person or persons' who we spend that time with. Outside of these things, and the various others that you can probably add to my list, the rest is left to chance and the way the wind blows about and thru the universe. It seems; sometimes, that even the rotation of the Earth, the cycles of the moon, and even the daily horoscope that I know some of you read, daily; that can throw the proverbial "monkey wrench" into our day.
When Paul became the King of Israel, his first instruction was to "wait.". Wait for a period of seven days, in fact. Think about this: How many of us are willing to wait in line five minutes or more at our favourite coffee house for that glorious "cup of Joe", much less wait on something for seven days? Even Amazon will deliver your package on Sunday; of all days, courtesy of the U.S. Postal service.
The Heinz company designed an entire advertising campaign for its ketchup, exhorting, "Good things come to those who WAIT!" But who really believes that in the information age?
Not that I am correct; especially probably not to most, but I believe that patience is an expectation; a positive connotation that something good is coming my way as a direct result of my patience.
Patience is hard to be "measured" between one person and the next. We all can have patience in one area, and entirely NO patience in another. I despise waiting on people or companies to call me back. Especially when I have been promised a call at a certain time, and that call that you are "waiting on", does not come until later than the expected time. Even the cable-guy can only promise to arrive at your home for installation or service within a four-hour period. I mean; come on...whose brilliant idea was that?
And how do you define patience? Is it an act of kindness? A thoughtful consideration? Understanding?
I think that is is an important lesson; Christian or Non-Christian, to examine how Paul demonstrated patience. In the same way, it is hard to measure Paul's level of patience. Did his understanding of his first assignment of King of Israel to wait for seven days qualify as patience?
Do "good" things really come to those who wait; either patiently or not?
In Philippians, starting with Chapter 4; verse 4, Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" One thing I immediately notice in this verse is that he not only puts emphasis on the word "Rejoice", but he mentions it twice and ends the statement boldly with an exclamation point on the word.
It seems that he then lends the possibility of the idea in verse 5 that perhaps "gentleness" could be an important factor to the element of patience.
But I believe it is verse 6 that is the key element, as Paul says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with everything, present your request to God."
Be calm, pray, and present your requests to God!
In verse 12, he further makes the claim that we should be content. And believe you me; if you have studied the life of Paul, the fact that he says he "knows what it is to be in need, and knows what it is to have plenty", is truly an understatement. But he is "content"; nonetheless.
The secret: "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"; verse 13.
All told, I believe it is fine to "ask for patience", even though some would caution against it. The secret, herein, is to be content with the answer.
Pray, and wait; as Paul did!
I'm not sure I would define it that way, but it is undoubtedly a skill learned only through experience, and additionally requires much "ability"; in the art of practicing, to maintain.
The goal is simply to be is a state of static inertia. While this may sound "way" to scientific, it is nothing more than a state-of-mind, in practice.
Patience to me is being calm. Realizing the fact that there are only a few elements in your day that you can control. We can control the phone call to our mother, the phone calls to clients, marking of the to-do list on our calendar, and making dinner reservations after a long, hard day at the office.
We can also control what we do with our time and the person or persons' who we spend that time with. Outside of these things, and the various others that you can probably add to my list, the rest is left to chance and the way the wind blows about and thru the universe. It seems; sometimes, that even the rotation of the Earth, the cycles of the moon, and even the daily horoscope that I know some of you read, daily; that can throw the proverbial "monkey wrench" into our day.
When Paul became the King of Israel, his first instruction was to "wait.". Wait for a period of seven days, in fact. Think about this: How many of us are willing to wait in line five minutes or more at our favourite coffee house for that glorious "cup of Joe", much less wait on something for seven days? Even Amazon will deliver your package on Sunday; of all days, courtesy of the U.S. Postal service.
The Heinz company designed an entire advertising campaign for its ketchup, exhorting, "Good things come to those who WAIT!" But who really believes that in the information age?
Not that I am correct; especially probably not to most, but I believe that patience is an expectation; a positive connotation that something good is coming my way as a direct result of my patience.
Patience is hard to be "measured" between one person and the next. We all can have patience in one area, and entirely NO patience in another. I despise waiting on people or companies to call me back. Especially when I have been promised a call at a certain time, and that call that you are "waiting on", does not come until later than the expected time. Even the cable-guy can only promise to arrive at your home for installation or service within a four-hour period. I mean; come on...whose brilliant idea was that?
And how do you define patience? Is it an act of kindness? A thoughtful consideration? Understanding?
I think that is is an important lesson; Christian or Non-Christian, to examine how Paul demonstrated patience. In the same way, it is hard to measure Paul's level of patience. Did his understanding of his first assignment of King of Israel to wait for seven days qualify as patience?
Do "good" things really come to those who wait; either patiently or not?
In Philippians, starting with Chapter 4; verse 4, Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" One thing I immediately notice in this verse is that he not only puts emphasis on the word "Rejoice", but he mentions it twice and ends the statement boldly with an exclamation point on the word.
It seems that he then lends the possibility of the idea in verse 5 that perhaps "gentleness" could be an important factor to the element of patience.
But I believe it is verse 6 that is the key element, as Paul says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with everything, present your request to God."
Be calm, pray, and present your requests to God!
In verse 12, he further makes the claim that we should be content. And believe you me; if you have studied the life of Paul, the fact that he says he "knows what it is to be in need, and knows what it is to have plenty", is truly an understatement. But he is "content"; nonetheless.
The secret: "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"; verse 13.
All told, I believe it is fine to "ask for patience", even though some would caution against it. The secret, herein, is to be content with the answer.
Pray, and wait; as Paul did!
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Integrity Part Deux
For a point of reference, the word in "Integrity" is found only sixteen times in the King James Version, (KJV), of the Bible.
Despite this small detail, I believe it to be a principle of great value. Sometimes less is more.
Two people in the Bible that immediately come to mind when considering integrity are David and Paul the Apostle.
Integrity is first mentioned in Genesis 20:5. Abimelek was king of Gerar. To preserve his wife from being taken from the king Abraham said, "She is my sister." As we all know, Abraham was married to Sarah. Because of this, Abimelek sent for Sarah and she was taken into custody. She was later released by the king after God appeared to him in a dream. In the New International Version of the Bible, the (NIV), it states that Abimelek took Sarah "with a clear conscience and clean hands." Abimelek had not touched Sarah, as God stated to him in his dream that he would have been "as good as dead", Genesis 20:3.
The point is that Abraham lacked integrity by not being honest with the king concerning his relationship with Sarah. He was deceptive, dishonest and outside of the will of God. At that pivotal moment, he did not trust God. His decision would later effect his son Isaac. Dishonesty and deception are not words that we would want others to define us by. In the present, and certainly in the future as we see later, it will directly impact our personal relationships and even those who are not directly connected with us by way of direct influence.
Despite this small detail, I believe it to be a principle of great value. Sometimes less is more.
Two people in the Bible that immediately come to mind when considering integrity are David and Paul the Apostle.
Integrity is first mentioned in Genesis 20:5. Abimelek was king of Gerar. To preserve his wife from being taken from the king Abraham said, "She is my sister." As we all know, Abraham was married to Sarah. Because of this, Abimelek sent for Sarah and she was taken into custody. She was later released by the king after God appeared to him in a dream. In the New International Version of the Bible, the (NIV), it states that Abimelek took Sarah "with a clear conscience and clean hands." Abimelek had not touched Sarah, as God stated to him in his dream that he would have been "as good as dead", Genesis 20:3.
The point is that Abraham lacked integrity by not being honest with the king concerning his relationship with Sarah. He was deceptive, dishonest and outside of the will of God. At that pivotal moment, he did not trust God. His decision would later effect his son Isaac. Dishonesty and deception are not words that we would want others to define us by. In the present, and certainly in the future as we see later, it will directly impact our personal relationships and even those who are not directly connected with us by way of direct influence.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Atonement: Part Seis
Atonement is a hard pill to swallow!
No matter who you are, or what you've done against others; one thing is for sure...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
I am currently in the Rocky Mountains. It was a beautiful sight to see flying in, more magical as I drove to my destination and most likely unbelievable if I happen to make it to the base of one of these monstrous behemoths. I'm not sure which mountain range that the song, "Home, Home on the Range", was referring to; but it could have easily been the Rockies.
I find myself in quite the quandary today. Apologies are tough. Contemplating about making apologies is tough; and the delivery is sometimes earth-shattering. That lump in your throat will eventually be removed in the process, but the process from start to finish seems unbearable at times. So, without doubt, I am in a place with a heavy heart today.
Perhaps the worst part in "atone-ning", is the thought that a valiant effort; no matter how good, will not restore things to what they once were. Can you at some point in the future repay the debt. Can that relationship REALLY be repaired. Why is it, that swallowing your pride and simply saying, "I'm sorry", really that hard?
Mostly, I think it has to do with fear. We can essentially "lay our cards" on the table; for everyone to see, and in the end it matters not. Trust has been lost, trust can not be restored, "game over." There are no more innings to be played, you will not pass "GO" and collect $200 and there is NO "Get out of Jail Free Card." Damage that you hoped would be repairable, is just not so.
The Bible explains that we should forgive. The hardest and most important part in the process of forgiveness is the act of "forgetting the foul." The one who has been hurt, has to replace the hurt, forget it, and place it so far in the subconscious mind; never to be recoverable. The "delete" button has been hit, and the evidence of your impartial and "wrong" thoughts or deeds must give way to the clouds...disappearing in space, unrecoverable.
Since we are all human, this, in and of itself; is almost an insurmountable act. In my humble opinion; and I do mean humble, women have a tendency to forget; with the "possibility of recovery." The offense may have went into the "spam" folder, but it is able to be plucked and used against you if even a possibility exists, that a future or similar offense would justify bringing the old act to the forefront.
Men are better at sweeping things "under the rug" so-to-speak, but we are also human. My point is that we HAVE to first forget, before we can TRULY FORGIVE.
It additionally comes with a cost. In many instances there is a hefty price attached to that "act" of forgiveness. And the process could take hours, days, months, years, and in some instances decades, or multiples, thereof.
Seemingly, apologies should be easy to muster and deliver. We do not, normally, intend to hurt others; at least not in a malicious manner, and certainly not in a harmful way that causes deep, emotional pain. So while the process should be second nature: Offense, Apology; it is often not something we are willing to offer (the apology) because of the HUGE fear of rejection by the other party.
There are additionally "levels of authority" which can make said apologies a little, or a lot, tougher to deliver. Apologizing to the neighbor for kicking the football in the yard next door, is not even in the same stadium as offending your colleague, friend, girlfriend, significant other, fiancé, wife or fifty or even sixty-year marriage marriage companion. After all, shouldn't we have developed an natural acquaintance, informal, formal or bonded relationship that allows us to inherently know "right" from "wrong?"
I guess this is where the problem; getting to the root of our offense, that makes the offense seem "larger than life"; and the act of apologizing the same as "death." I'm not sure about you, but a death sentence, on any level and under any circumstances is not a welcome thought.
This process from start, offense; to finish, apology; may seem as something that is more insurmountable that Mt. Everest itself, but it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to restore some sense of emotional health in your own life; hopefully, with time, having long-lasting effects.
Apologies are necessary. Committing acts that require an apology, can be avoided.
The next time you think you may be in a position to even begin to "toe the line"; in the proverbial soccer or volleyball analogy, "Tread carefully, young Grasshopper!" You will be glad you followed the process of thinking, before speaking; refraining, before doing.
No matter who you are, or what you've done against others; one thing is for sure...YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.
I am currently in the Rocky Mountains. It was a beautiful sight to see flying in, more magical as I drove to my destination and most likely unbelievable if I happen to make it to the base of one of these monstrous behemoths. I'm not sure which mountain range that the song, "Home, Home on the Range", was referring to; but it could have easily been the Rockies.
I find myself in quite the quandary today. Apologies are tough. Contemplating about making apologies is tough; and the delivery is sometimes earth-shattering. That lump in your throat will eventually be removed in the process, but the process from start to finish seems unbearable at times. So, without doubt, I am in a place with a heavy heart today.
Perhaps the worst part in "atone-ning", is the thought that a valiant effort; no matter how good, will not restore things to what they once were. Can you at some point in the future repay the debt. Can that relationship REALLY be repaired. Why is it, that swallowing your pride and simply saying, "I'm sorry", really that hard?
Mostly, I think it has to do with fear. We can essentially "lay our cards" on the table; for everyone to see, and in the end it matters not. Trust has been lost, trust can not be restored, "game over." There are no more innings to be played, you will not pass "GO" and collect $200 and there is NO "Get out of Jail Free Card." Damage that you hoped would be repairable, is just not so.
The Bible explains that we should forgive. The hardest and most important part in the process of forgiveness is the act of "forgetting the foul." The one who has been hurt, has to replace the hurt, forget it, and place it so far in the subconscious mind; never to be recoverable. The "delete" button has been hit, and the evidence of your impartial and "wrong" thoughts or deeds must give way to the clouds...disappearing in space, unrecoverable.
Since we are all human, this, in and of itself; is almost an insurmountable act. In my humble opinion; and I do mean humble, women have a tendency to forget; with the "possibility of recovery." The offense may have went into the "spam" folder, but it is able to be plucked and used against you if even a possibility exists, that a future or similar offense would justify bringing the old act to the forefront.
Men are better at sweeping things "under the rug" so-to-speak, but we are also human. My point is that we HAVE to first forget, before we can TRULY FORGIVE.
It additionally comes with a cost. In many instances there is a hefty price attached to that "act" of forgiveness. And the process could take hours, days, months, years, and in some instances decades, or multiples, thereof.
Seemingly, apologies should be easy to muster and deliver. We do not, normally, intend to hurt others; at least not in a malicious manner, and certainly not in a harmful way that causes deep, emotional pain. So while the process should be second nature: Offense, Apology; it is often not something we are willing to offer (the apology) because of the HUGE fear of rejection by the other party.
There are additionally "levels of authority" which can make said apologies a little, or a lot, tougher to deliver. Apologizing to the neighbor for kicking the football in the yard next door, is not even in the same stadium as offending your colleague, friend, girlfriend, significant other, fiancé, wife or fifty or even sixty-year marriage marriage companion. After all, shouldn't we have developed an natural acquaintance, informal, formal or bonded relationship that allows us to inherently know "right" from "wrong?"
I guess this is where the problem; getting to the root of our offense, that makes the offense seem "larger than life"; and the act of apologizing the same as "death." I'm not sure about you, but a death sentence, on any level and under any circumstances is not a welcome thought.
This process from start, offense; to finish, apology; may seem as something that is more insurmountable that Mt. Everest itself, but it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to restore some sense of emotional health in your own life; hopefully, with time, having long-lasting effects.
Apologies are necessary. Committing acts that require an apology, can be avoided.
The next time you think you may be in a position to even begin to "toe the line"; in the proverbial soccer or volleyball analogy, "Tread carefully, young Grasshopper!" You will be glad you followed the process of thinking, before speaking; refraining, before doing.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Atonement: Part Dos
I learned a hard lesson about atonement yesterday. But, it was also concerning personal finances, which I have had to swallow a "large pill" since 2006.
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
I am now moving toward a place where I can help others. It feels good; no great!
It is always nice, and in my case, appreciated; but as we all know, it is hard for us men to accept help, even when it is freely given, and highly encouraged to accept; without exception!
Yesterday I contacted a gentleman from my new church. He literally took me "under his wing", without expecting anything in return, this past Sunday. He certainly didn't have to, but within four days; from Sunday to Wednesday, I have been blessed beyond imagination. God is GOOD, ALL the TIME.
I contacted him, reluctantly, as I have needed housing, for about two weeks. Within under three hours, I had a place to go to today. Big pills are hard to swallow, but in the same vein, it was, as I said previously, not an option not to contact him. I am eternally grateful that I listened to a "voice of reason." Again, this was not without a fight, but I listened anyway. I guess my point is, blessings WILL come your way, if you only let God do the heavy lifting. We should all strive to listen to the good counsel of others. That is not to say that there is not "bad counsel" out there, but taking the time to consider, and act on, suggestions from those in your circle of believers, will allow you to receive blessings beyond your wildest imagination.
I started a new program yesterday. An author that is respected within the Christian fiction community was once challenged to read Proverbs each day, and thirty and thirty-one on months where there is only thirty days in a month on the calendar year. He was instructed to do this continually for not only twelve months, but ongoing for a period of five years, even ten. It would be guess that he is even doing it today. His life has improved ten-fold and then some, just as his Christian friend had suggested it would. He was taking from a point of experience. Today, Scott has authored some of the most influential books, each year, since taking that challenge, and putting some serious effort into the process.
I am not unlike Scott. My career and hence, my life goals have been spotty at best. I am now no longer stagnant, but I am instead interested in the vast benefits that this practice will add to my life; in relationships, finances and my ability to reach others, thru God, in a multitude of avenues and ways.
There is another authored a book entitled, "The Prayer of Jabez." It too, became a best seller, and the premise is simple. The prayer offered to God was simple. It encompasses only a few verses, but the idea is extremely simple, but perhaps hard to achieve. A principle inherent is that we should ask God to "increase our territory", in both evangelistic efforts, and in any other ways that God would have us to stretch for; and outside of our comfort zone.
That is where God can bless us the most. When we least expect it, if we are only listening for opportunities, and acting on them diligently and AT the appointed TIME, we will realize that God is a "on time" God. Not just for ourselves; as we are inherently selfish to a point, but we need to listen an act on what God commands, and put forth in front of us. It is sometimes a gentle nudge; and it is often a stretch. The question is, "Will be be faithful, and step out in faith; with a designated purpose, to bless others in a mighty way." It is at those times that we will receive our blessings, through the hearts and minds of others.
We can all benefit from the example of Jabez. He also asks for God to "bless me indeed." The best blessings, I believe, are those that come thru watching the glow in someone's eyes, and seeing them grow in faith in seconds; that very instance. And if we are cognizant and simply beleive in the process set forth, we will be mesmerized and extremely pleased; and blessed with the outcome, no matter how big or small. The girl at the checkout counter in your local grocery market, someone that you help with a jump-start or a tire change, returning an animal to the girl next door, or taking the initiative to lead them to Christ.
I guess what I am trying to convey, is that atonement comes and shows itself in a multitude of ways; if you let it. It is not just financial in nature, a mending of a relationship or a much larger task to complete; at God's instruction. The real point of this exercise in humility, is that EVERYONE gets BLESSED.
What opportunities will you listen for, and follow the instruction for the position with which God has in NO WAY coincidentally placed you in today? Ponder this thought carefully, and "step up to the plate", with a purpose when asked. A strecth is ok; and should be preferred, as an initiative will present itself for YOU to grow in your faith.
Find one today; and I promise you, you will be ETERNALLY blessed. "Just Do It!"
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Atonement Part Uno
It was suggested by my future "editor", that I revise a few chapters in my first series on Integrity; but by and large, that would take away from, or hide my true feelings at the time. I certainly lost some ground with respect to a friendship, and what I hoped would become more than, but I got scared. Events that were slated to happen caused fear in me to the "point of no return", which what I had envisioned as my last chance at a great and lasting LOVE!
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
So with that being said, I want to offer, and begin a series on "Atonement."
Atonement in it's purest form is asking for forgiveness, promising to return to a place that was once eclipsed and being "incredibly sorry" in the process. The problem, inherently, is that the process is an uphill battle and climb back to the crest of the wave that was once obtained. That particular battle, is one that I hope, with faith and trust by the other party, that I know I will be able to reach the top of the mountain; but the climb may seem like reaching the top of Mt. Everest. Despite this fact, I am willing and able to reach that mountain top, and will accept no other option but success in the process.
Atonement to me also means a repayment for sins. We all have "skeletons in the closet" that are sometimes not evident to others, but they rear-up their ugly heads like monsters. The come out of the proverbial closet when we least expect it, and are sometimes shown to others, who get hurt in the process. Sometimes badly!
I have never meant to make anyone cry anything but happy tears, as I say affectionately that I was given my Grandfather's heart. An incredible man of faith, he always strived, and managed, to do more for others than himself. He would butter everybody's bread at the kitchen table. He was the last one to do for himself, and never sacrificed anything for personal gain. He, too, had an in-explainable amount of integrity. And while there was not much that he would have EVER had to atone for, there were periods, and times in his life that he felt less than giving, or showing the full amount of his unconditional LOVE for others; not himself. He sacrificed much for me especially, and for countless others, to the point of the exact opposite of self-love. He had few regrets, and that is something that I have always strived for myself. I have few, and would like not to ever increase that number.
Especially in relationships, I try to embody the example set for me by him. Him, also being the Father of the Universe, and the one that died for me, and all that would accept his offer of grace; if only one would ask, believe, atone and accept Him as a person that they want to build a lasting relationship with, it is the one and TRUE God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit; the Trinity, that I have placed my unwavering faith in.
I have found a new church in Belmont, North Carolina. I visited for the first time this last Sunday, October 30, 2016. I was SO moved by the Holy Spirit that I cried thru the entire service, beginning with the praise and worship part of the service. At the same time, I had my best friend in the Charlotte area, and quite possibly the entire world at this point, praying in unison to God for me, at another church.
We have been praying for favour to reach me in a might way. One that is only explainable as coming from God, Himself. We are praying for the grace of God to rain down on me like the six-month spans that happen in Vietnam, and other places. And as for difficulties in the storm, I am determined to let the rain "roll of by back", like water on a duck's ass. While quite bold to say, I hold nothing back these days, which has grown in me as a part of my process toward maturity, at an age of nearly forty, which I will reach on March 7, 2016.
I was talking with my cousin John, last evening, and we both agreed that at the ripe old ages of thirty-nine and forty-three, that we did not envision or think that we would be at the exact places that we are today, with respect to life. It is sometimes the comparison to others in your cohort of friends and family; the one's who seem to be stable and "have it all together", that cause us to pause in reflection, to our own detriment.
While there is room for ALL of us to make mistakes, the mistakes that we have made collectively, have been painful; in a long-lasting way, and we are still paying the price for our indiscretions. In my case, the largest is with respect to my personal finances. Coming fro the point of prior experience and employment as a financial advisor, you, or one may think that personal finances is NOT an area that I would struggle with after nearly eighteen years in the business. Wealth Management, Insurance and Banking, have all made an appearance in my career. And I am no farther along than I was at twenty-three years old, when I had only a cell phone payment and a decent job with a good salary. Oh, to go back to that place. However, truly, I would not be where I am now without those missteps. I pray, wholeheartedly, that I have MORE than learned from those experiences.
So, back to Atonement. I am trying with an air of success, that I will in the near future reach higher-highs instead of lower-lows; and the "lows" have definitely been lows, and with plenty of consequences following those mistakes. But, I truly believe, that I am not where I am currently without coincidence. I am at the EXACT point, where my God wants me to be. With respect to relationships, finances, wealth or NOT, in my case, things; which are really not important in this world, and my career. Even today's verse for reflection courtesy of the greatly influential pastor, Joel Osteen reads, "The earth was formless and empty...and God said, 'Let there be light." His daily devotional always seems to be "on point" with respect to some area of my life, good, bad or indifferent, that cause me to pause with hesitation toward trying to do TOO MUCH on my OWN, without God.
My prayer for today, is for a restoration of a relationship; that I nearly end, to be restored, and to eclipse to an in-explainable faith that cannot be imagined, or even seem to be obtainable. I hope that today's writing on encouragement will be just that, an encouraging messages to others. May we all be blessed, beyond imagination, at some point today, or in something; even some little small detail, which may seem to be indifferent to our growth as people, awaken us all to the fact that there is a vast opportunity for personal growth each day, as people, and certainly as believers in the awesome God that we have.
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